Grocery Shopping Amid The Pandemic

Grocery shopping amid this pandemic has been stressful. I mean it’s stressful enough as it is but now I have to be witness to your temper tantrum because you refuse to wear a mask. I’ll get to that point shortly.

Before this pandemic hit us with our pants down, grocery shopping was already stressful enough. But now I have to be worried about if this particular store is a minefield for Covid_19. I mean as soon as I enter the store I’m already bobbing and weaving my way through the random shopping cart maze. It guess it’s fun for some people but not me. Especially when someone is so absent minded that they run their cart into the side of my leg so my knee bends in way it’s not meant to bend. I know I’m still new to yoga but I’ve never seen that pose before. Not only do you not apologize you hit me again

Then you have the random people just blocking the aisle just to block a damn aisle. What’s my problem you ask is that you are blocking the shelf to your beloved Ezekiel bread. Don’t worry pal I’m only taking one loaf out of the 30 loaves. All I want is my bread so please put a pin in the conversation with your neighbor with whom you will see immediately after your grocery store run at you’re your neighborhood potluck because I was subjected to your douchie conversation. Speaking of douchie. A douche move is leaving your cart in the middle of a damn aisle and walking to the far end of the store. If it were up to me I would have a rule that we get to put your items away or dump your cart out and you have to start your shopping all over again. So do not yell at me for moving your cart dude.

I already have enough problems avoiding the super aggressive sample person who continues to forcefeed me the new hickory smoked bacon. Which I didn’t think you could do right now. I mean it’s tasty but my cholesterol has sky rocketed so much I have to go self prescribe myself with the over the counter Lipitor. I’m too young to be on Lipitor man.

For the love of everything good in the world enough with the obnoxiously loud speaker phone conversations. If it were up to me I should be allowed to join in on your convo with your pal Steve and say he shouldn’t have bet his house on the Bills when the whole world knew that Tom Brady and the Bucs were going to the super bowl. C’mon Steve.

If things weren’t bad enough now we are subjected to your “I’m Not Wearing A Mask Inside The Store” temper tantrum. I don’t have the time for your temper tantrum. The other shoppers don’t have time for your tantrum. The store staff certainly does not have the time for your temper tantrum. I guess the store staff should supply ear plugs along with the complementary sanitizer shower. In the meantime if you want to yell at somebody why don’t you stand in front of a mirror and yell at the person you see. If you don’t want to wear a mask that’s fine, just stay home and order your groceries online for delivery like I do. Then you’ll be even more pissed that the store repeatedly never includes your pre-made iced coffee, tomatoes and your margarine. Now that’s a temper tantrum I can get behind. Just wear your mask.